Skydive Hawaii

Location: Skydive Hawaii @ Dillingham Airfield

Entertainment Value: Free falling @ around 115 MPH, 14,500 feet above ground, 10 minutes of cold sweaty anticipation from the time you got on the plane to the time you got off it, your hang loose surfer type Tandem master who tells you that it's his second time sky diving after you asked him the 60 million dollar question every tourist/first time sky diver asks, the priceless picture of your Picasso morphed mug as your cheeks flails about like the Pillsbury doughboy's love handles.

Entertainment Cost: $125 (w/o coupon it's $150) + Tip (That's important!) + $100 photographer (Highly recommended since it's not a weekly sport activity)

Food Cost: Don’t eat before you dive if you can’t handle the world’s most spin filled ride ever (keep on reading for more information)

What’s more frightening than the actual thought of skydiving and even the actual jump itself is the Life Waiver you’ll have to sign prior to being strapped onto a stranger and jumping out of the Cessna Caravan 14,000 feet above ground, basically stating that you are fully aware that there is a possibility of serious injury or death. It goes on and talks about the different methods of dying such as an airplane crash, a parachute malfunction, heart attack, etc. It then taunts you by saying, “Most people never sky dive. You don’t have to sky dive…” which is like a fat freckled fourth grader putting his thumbs in his ear and his tongue sticking out saying, “You big pussy”. So of course, you take the dare and go for it, signing your life away.

I recommend making an appointment for the first appointment of the day. That’s because once the first group of sky divers go, it takes about a good hour or two of waiting time, giving you ample time to imagine all the possibilities of what can go wrong, before you get to even sit on the back of the pickup truck that’s going to take you to the airfield. Then it’ll be another 16 1/2 minutes before you can feel your heart steady and your breathing pattern even out. It takes about 10-12 minutes to takeoff, 2 minutes of watching others jump off the plane, and 30 seconds of free falling and 1 minute of vertical spinning and gliding. With that said, I would recommend volunteering to dive first unless you want to be the only one sweating bricks while others are already pumping adrenaline and epinephrine with the air smashing your face while you freefall at 110 mph.

The only Warning I have are for those who are easily nauseated or disoriented from spinning. If you are easily dizzy from rides like Alice in the Wonderland’s Mad Hatter teacup party at Disneyland or a spinout ride at your local carnival, then you might need to go on an empty stomach and close your eyes for the last half of the jump. When the parachute releases, the Tandem master will make some adjustments on the straps to navigate you towards your landing mark that will inevitably cause you to spin, spin, spin spin spin spin, and spin. As somebody who avidly enjoys upside down, sideway, freefall, super speed spinning, all freestyle motion rides, even I had trouble with nausea (and possibly vertigo?) when the the Pacific Ocean swarmed around me like a teal colored hoola hoop and while the gravitational pull spun me down like a tornado.

Right before landing, you’ll even have to do a bit of a leg lift so that the Tandem master could place his wheels-on-tarmac landing. Your butt might hit the ground before your marbles are together, but when you initially put your foot on the ground, the after feeling makes it all worth the anxiety. When you’re done, it’s like you’ve just gotten out of a terrible dare devil stunt unscathed. The rush is amazing, you’re still feeling high from the spare adrenaline, and you feel even more lucky to be alive than twenty minutes earlier.

The experience is a high like no other.