Thrills and Oil Spills @ OC Fair

Orange County Fair

Location: 88 Fair Drive, Costa Mesa, CA 92626

Entertainment Cost: Free during We Care Wednesdays

Entertainment Value: Scary Rides, Jumbo fried food, and lots of Carni lights
Food Value: Texas size, smoked, deep fried, battered, and Good All American Fat

What makes the OC fair such a horrendous place to have so much fun is its parking--getting there is like trudging through a game of solitaire--it just takes lots of patience, inching forward through bumper to bumper traffic, and paying for a space that took you twenty minutes to find, kind of like Costco Sundays. However, once you're at the Fairgrounds it all makes sense. This gianormous conglomerate of a "fair" is Carnival/Food Orgy/Music Festival all in one. No wonder everybody and their mommas want to come here. 

American Idol Season Eight runner up winner Adam Lambert was headlining that evening's concerts of mini concerts. Though we didn't buy our tickets, we did catch the Lambert Fever from the crowds that were heading over to see him. Over at the free concerts section, there were many music renditions going on simultaneously. We witnessed a jazz band with the big cello and Jazz suits all worked up, we also heard a two man band playing oldies but goodies, "It's Raining Men, Hallelujah", and watch teeny boppers sing to Beyonce's "If you like then you shoulda put a ring on it...uh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh." 

The food was deliciously unhealthy. We ate deep fried zucchini, deep fried Australian potato "chips", Crispy Creme chicken sandwich ( which is essentially two jelly donuts sandwiching a chicken with honey drippings as the condiment), jumbo corn dogs, jumbo turkey legs, and even the fries there are jumbo sized. It's a delight while you're eating it but maybe five or ten minutes afterwards, your body feels like it just woke up next to a hooker---just downright dirty. But boy was it good when you were gobbling all that oil and saturated lard down.

Two things about the OC fair that beats Disneyland hands down: 1) Smoked Turkey Legs (it's fresher, smokier, and juicier) and 2) Scary rides.

Note that I said "scary" not "fun", although personally I translates scary into fun. Minus the top engineering graphics and architechural design, the rides at the OC fair is pee in your pants, I can't believe they make this legal, Are you sure it's stable, scary. I don't know the specific names, but one particular example is the first ride my friend Lisa and I rode on; it had three round brush shaped protrusions stemed from an turning axel. You are shoulder strapped at one of the four seats, backed by a second row of four. When you are lifted in the air, the axel is swinging 360 like a super speed carousel while the round brush looking arms where you are sitting are rotating 360 also. In essence, your entire body is being jolted in mid-air at different angles while flying at superspeeds. It is definitely not a ride for the weak (stomachs).

Lisa and I on the right before the craziness

After: Can you find us? We can't either...my mind was scrambled with the rest of my body.

The second super scary ride we went on looked like one of your typical 360 turning riddles, except for the fact that while it's spinning it is also swinging the entire passenger seat back and forth like a pendulem, and you would think that it will continue to swing back and forth like a rocking boat while spinning, but that's not even the beginning. It gets super freaky when it stops swinging at the apex, which is most top part of the sky, while we are hanging completely upside down looking at the awesome view of the lighted up carnival at the top and the empty dark blue sky on the bottom. Gravity pushed us against the weight of two bars that kept us from falling to our deaths 20 feet below and the sensation of our butts completely off the seats, our blood rushing to our brains, and our hearts thumping out of our throats for a good half a minute was something more terrifying than any other Magic Mountain, Disney, or Knotts Ride I've been to. 

Jet Li, Lackena, and Dana patiently sitting out

The next and last ride was less terrifying than it did actually lead on. It only could hold eight people at a time. It was a long bow shaped mechanism with a fixed axel in the middle so that it almost looked like a see saw, except that it went the full 360 swing at a velocity that matched bungee jumping. The free falling effect gives you the rush, when the momentum accelerates from the vertical peak to the lowest peak, but of course there's a twist (pun intended); your seats are loosely swinging back and forth like on a ferrish ride, while you are being launched upwards and downwards around the axel, like a ball on a mangonel. It was altogether very exhilarating and very brief. I wished it lasted longer, but with 8 people riding at a time, and about 60 people waiting in line, you can't blame them for cutting it short for those waiting to get on. 

For thrill seekers, I would highly recommend going on the OC fair carni rides. Since the tickets are pretty pricy, the best bang for your buck is to go during Wednesdays and Thursdays before 5pm to obtain your unlimited ride pass for $25 or go there friday for $1 rides. The best would be to go there early afternoon on a Wednesday to get in free for a Wednesday Care donation, obtain your unlimited ride pass, and just have a go until 8 (which is when the unlimited ride deal expires). All in all, thrills and oil spills (no pun intended on that one).   

Happiest Place on Earth

Disneyland
Location:
 W Ball Rd & S Disneyland Dr
 Anaheim, CA 92802
Entertainment Cost: Free if you have a friend who works for Disney like our good friend Orn.
Normal price: Find out here
Entertainment Value: Amusement rides, Disney Character magic, Watercolor show, Captain EO 3D (MJ's Back!), and Scenic beauty.
Food Cost: $8 for Smoked Turkey Legs

Bollywood in California Adventure; Glowfest props in background

The beauty of living in So Cal is that you can go to Disneyland an infinite number of times and there will always be surprises after the umpteenth time back. Disney is constantly expanding, a life force pulsing behind the gigantic corporate machine of capitalism, a manufacturer of fantasy and dreams for both children and adults alike. Disney is the Jimmy Cricket on your left shoulder, the Fairy God Mother on your magic dust filled dreams, and Tinkerbell guiding you in the dark night, who raised you since you were able to open your eyes and understand human speech, or even if you didn't. Growing up Disney was there to give you a temporary respite from school hassles like making the grades, making friends that would laugh at your bad jokes, and getting the nerve to talk to the crush you had in middle school. When college bound, you occasionally went back to the occasional Disney cartoon classics like a nice pair of birthstone earrings you got as a toddler that you'd take out to remind you that it is still not too late to look fashionable in it. Now that you are a full blown adult, you realize the fundamental need to keep it at your side, cling to it like a magical amulet that, over time, needs polishing and whispers of wishful thinking.

Mickey Fountain in front of Monster's Inc. Ride

That is why time and again we look to Disneyland for comfort and a way to get away. Maybe I'm biased since my heart still sings every time I go on a Sleep Beauty Ride or watch Ariel rock it during the Disney Parade (two of my favorite Disney "old school" animations...God, can I call it that now? Wow I'm getting old...no disrespect to the 70's and 80's babies). So now after my 9+ times at Disney, I had expected to be bored but was met with pleasant surprise instead--kind of like discovering a pomegranate tree growing in your backyard after that one incident where you had lazily eaten it without a trash can nearby. The experienc is altogether... serendipity.

So Cal residents tend to be fickle, we are easily bored, and hard to entertain (especially if we've seen it more than once). Yes, as So Co PeePo, we have all ridden Matterhorn, Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Star Tours, It's a Small World, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Haunted Mansion many of times. And even the newer rides built in the new millennium like: Indiana Jones and Buzz Light Year, or California Adventure's Ride Additions: Tower of Terror, California Screamin', Monster's Inc, etc., won't make us lose sleep from excitement the night before. However, there are some newer additions and new relevations since 2008, which was the last time I went to Disney.

Madhatter Tea Party and Matterhorn backdrop

Best darn smoked Turkey Leg ever...watch out OC fair

Five things I've discovered that doesn't make Disney an old Fart:
1. Disney's Nightastic Fireworks at 10:00pm during weekdays and 9:00pm during weekends

2. Toy Story ball tugging 3D shooter ride (Upgraded Buzz Light Year ride)

3. Gianormous Turkey Legs are still bomb

4. Captain EO Tribute 3D Show is Back (MJ's back on the map)

5. Glow Fest (Electronica, Dancers, and Alcohol!)

6. Disney's World of Color Show

Mr. Potato Head and Mr. David Dang Head. It's a head off!

Okay, I lied. There's six. Unfortunately, we couldn't get tickets to the World of Color show. This show is _____________. I don't know. But please comment on this blog if you did go and let me know how it was for you. Rumors are you have to get fast passes to get admitted well in advance in order to have any chance of seeing it. For those that love to live in the moment, as I'd like to think of myself as (or at least as my alibi for being lazy), if you arrive that day to retrieve your tickets, I would recommend diving to the Grizzly Run fast pass machine over by California Adventure. As a a loyal reader of my blog, I will show my gratitude by giving you the exact location of Grizzly Run so there will be no time wasted asking directions or getting lost:

Remember: Focus! Don't worry about running over strollers or old grannies, it is either you or them soldier!

This is your hit. Burn after reading!

Can't wait to see the show? See it here:



Should the carpe diem method fail, your mission can still be salvaged if you are tactful and prepare ahead of time. The other (and probably wiser) way to not only get a good front view of the show without the hassle of waiting hours to get good seating, but also to get a decent meal while there, is to make dinner reservations at Ariel's Grotto. The dinner package is around $36  per person; note I said "package", so I'm guessing that it is a decent meal. One that involves good farting and burping afterwards.

Bringing Black Back!

One other thing I must elborate on is the Captain EO Tribute show; It is one of my all time favorite 3D shows...and probably the only 3D show I've experienced in the 80's. I love how the teleprompter warns us not to put on the glasses "for our protection" until the show has started. That cautionary warning was made during a time when Lasik services weren't rendered to the average consumer. The tribute show really kept it's 80's originality--Special optical and mechanical effects (when SPX still conjured awe in us) in all its noise and large pixilated glory.  Michael Jackson plays Captain EO, a traveling space captain out to deliver goods and bring peace for the world. He is out to find the lost beacon, only to luckily crash upon it. But his luck runs out as he is captured by the evil machine witch before he is able to complete his mission. I won't give away the best part of what he does next, but I will tell you that there are a lot of rainbow colors (80's style), popping, Michael moonwalking, and aaaaaaaaah that only MJ could do (imitated but never duplicated). And since Disney owns the exclusive rights to it, you won't be finding this MJ pop routine anywhere else but here where dreams and reality meet.    

Tower of Terror and Hollywood's Backlot Backdrop