Thrills and Oil Spills @ OC Fair

Orange County Fair

Location: 88 Fair Drive, Costa Mesa, CA 92626

Entertainment Cost: Free during We Care Wednesdays

Entertainment Value: Scary Rides, Jumbo fried food, and lots of Carni lights
Food Value: Texas size, smoked, deep fried, battered, and Good All American Fat

What makes the OC fair such a horrendous place to have so much fun is its parking--getting there is like trudging through a game of solitaire--it just takes lots of patience, inching forward through bumper to bumper traffic, and paying for a space that took you twenty minutes to find, kind of like Costco Sundays. However, once you're at the Fairgrounds it all makes sense. This gianormous conglomerate of a "fair" is Carnival/Food Orgy/Music Festival all in one. No wonder everybody and their mommas want to come here. 

American Idol Season Eight runner up winner Adam Lambert was headlining that evening's concerts of mini concerts. Though we didn't buy our tickets, we did catch the Lambert Fever from the crowds that were heading over to see him. Over at the free concerts section, there were many music renditions going on simultaneously. We witnessed a jazz band with the big cello and Jazz suits all worked up, we also heard a two man band playing oldies but goodies, "It's Raining Men, Hallelujah", and watch teeny boppers sing to Beyonce's "If you like then you shoulda put a ring on it...uh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh." 

The food was deliciously unhealthy. We ate deep fried zucchini, deep fried Australian potato "chips", Crispy Creme chicken sandwich ( which is essentially two jelly donuts sandwiching a chicken with honey drippings as the condiment), jumbo corn dogs, jumbo turkey legs, and even the fries there are jumbo sized. It's a delight while you're eating it but maybe five or ten minutes afterwards, your body feels like it just woke up next to a hooker---just downright dirty. But boy was it good when you were gobbling all that oil and saturated lard down.

Two things about the OC fair that beats Disneyland hands down: 1) Smoked Turkey Legs (it's fresher, smokier, and juicier) and 2) Scary rides.

Note that I said "scary" not "fun", although personally I translates scary into fun. Minus the top engineering graphics and architechural design, the rides at the OC fair is pee in your pants, I can't believe they make this legal, Are you sure it's stable, scary. I don't know the specific names, but one particular example is the first ride my friend Lisa and I rode on; it had three round brush shaped protrusions stemed from an turning axel. You are shoulder strapped at one of the four seats, backed by a second row of four. When you are lifted in the air, the axel is swinging 360 like a super speed carousel while the round brush looking arms where you are sitting are rotating 360 also. In essence, your entire body is being jolted in mid-air at different angles while flying at superspeeds. It is definitely not a ride for the weak (stomachs).

Lisa and I on the right before the craziness

After: Can you find us? We can't either...my mind was scrambled with the rest of my body.

The second super scary ride we went on looked like one of your typical 360 turning riddles, except for the fact that while it's spinning it is also swinging the entire passenger seat back and forth like a pendulem, and you would think that it will continue to swing back and forth like a rocking boat while spinning, but that's not even the beginning. It gets super freaky when it stops swinging at the apex, which is most top part of the sky, while we are hanging completely upside down looking at the awesome view of the lighted up carnival at the top and the empty dark blue sky on the bottom. Gravity pushed us against the weight of two bars that kept us from falling to our deaths 20 feet below and the sensation of our butts completely off the seats, our blood rushing to our brains, and our hearts thumping out of our throats for a good half a minute was something more terrifying than any other Magic Mountain, Disney, or Knotts Ride I've been to. 

Jet Li, Lackena, and Dana patiently sitting out

The next and last ride was less terrifying than it did actually lead on. It only could hold eight people at a time. It was a long bow shaped mechanism with a fixed axel in the middle so that it almost looked like a see saw, except that it went the full 360 swing at a velocity that matched bungee jumping. The free falling effect gives you the rush, when the momentum accelerates from the vertical peak to the lowest peak, but of course there's a twist (pun intended); your seats are loosely swinging back and forth like on a ferrish ride, while you are being launched upwards and downwards around the axel, like a ball on a mangonel. It was altogether very exhilarating and very brief. I wished it lasted longer, but with 8 people riding at a time, and about 60 people waiting in line, you can't blame them for cutting it short for those waiting to get on. 

For thrill seekers, I would highly recommend going on the OC fair carni rides. Since the tickets are pretty pricy, the best bang for your buck is to go during Wednesdays and Thursdays before 5pm to obtain your unlimited ride pass for $25 or go there friday for $1 rides. The best would be to go there early afternoon on a Wednesday to get in free for a Wednesday Care donation, obtain your unlimited ride pass, and just have a go until 8 (which is when the unlimited ride deal expires). All in all, thrills and oil spills (no pun intended on that one).   

Iron Chef Cook Off!

Iron Chef Cook Off!

Location:

2400 Jefferson St
Torrance, CA 90510

Entertainment Value: Friends, Food, Fierce No Mercy Competition, Alcohol and Fun

Food Cost: $10 in the pot so the head chefs could go and hunt for ingredients

Don't let the fact that friends, alcohol, and parks fool you into thinking this is just recreation. Beneath the veneer of laughters, clinks from shot glasses, and delicious food, there is a firestorm brewing. The three head chefs, Chef Tony, Chef Gus, and Chef Roderick, all hope to lead their team to the glory of fine grilling--bbq at its highest aesthetic sizzle. On a fine Sunday afternoon at Wilson park, they've come to test their wits and prove their culinary skill. The mission? To make a three course entree based on the secret ingredient that is revealed only moments before the game starts.

Each entree wll be judged on three criterion:

1. Flavor/Taste

2. Presentation

3. How clever the secret ingredient has been integrated into the dish

Sweet Tea Vodka...Ohhh yeah~

Team Tony hustling and bustling with their mushroom burger

To make it even more interesting? Once the teams were given the secret ingredient, Floral Peppers, they are only given an hour and a half to shop for their ingredients on a $50 budget. They must be at their grilling stations within that time frame or else they would be penalized for their time grilling. Once the party have all arrived, we have the lightening round. This quirky part of Iron Chef is a way for each team to test their fitness in food preparation. At a head to head relay match, each team has to effectively complete a preparation challenge. In our cookout case, one member had to first successfully cut and quartz a pineapple in order for the second team member to proceed onto finely chopping onions, which then allowed for the final team member to squeeze enough lime juice to pass the designated mark on the cup. First place winners, Team Tony, received an extra 2 point advantage in judging marks. Second place winners, Team Gus, receive a 1 point advantage.

After the lightening round, teams receive an additional hour and a half to come up with three different entrees. Throughout this time, our faciliator, David, and our host, Orn, is monitoring the progress of each team, while chaos unleashes--organized chaos that is. We hear orders being barked from Team Roderick's group, cheese melting on propane burners, knives chomping down on spicy peppers, and salmon flying in the air. It was a brutal race against time, but we could see how hard each team member was working. Sweat dripping down on smokey grills, coals sizzling under the tongs clamping down on burger meat, bacon wrapped sausages, and chicken breasts, and feet shuffling around to get this and that all added to the excitement. 

Once time was up, amazingly all the teams finished on time, through sheer versatility and adrenaline induced shot calls, made possible from good teamwork and top notch leadership. Food tasting judges, Lackena, Johnny, a mystery judge, and yours truely sat down before nine varietated and orally seductive dishes.  Since a picture is worth a thousand words, we'll break down the product of their culinary endeavors... but before I do I plead a disclaimer!! I did not cook these so my descriptions are very limited. I'd like to encourage the judges to come forward and write their description on the comments section below. I apologize in advance if I lack the details in the formulation of the product that could fully describe food presented here. So in any case, here are their finalized products:   (Please don't forget to take a moment to fill out the survey poll to the left column of this blog after you are finished viewing the food)  


Team Gus:

Appetizer: Rasberry, blackberry, mango, strawberry fruit parfait; Second dish: Ceviche

Entree 2: Bacon wrapped sausage with green peppers with toasted bun

Entree 3: Hearty all American burger with melted jack cheese; bell peppers on the side

Team Tony:

Appetizer: Bacon Stuffed yellow peppers with....? glaze.. help me here Tony..

Appetizer 2:  salty and spicy salsa

Appetizer 2: Melted cheese dip with green and red bell cubes

Entree 2+3: Bell Peppers on top of bacon wrapped hotdog; Portabello mushroom with melted Jack cheese blended inside the meat 

Team Roderick:

Appetizer: Mango salsa

                                               

Entree 2: Chicken breast with green onions layered on top, siracha sauce dipping in yellow chilli cavity

Entree 3 + 4: bacon wrapped sausage with asparagus, grilled pinapple slice, and juicy burger with all the bacon, red onion, tomatos, lettuce in between

 So ladies and fellas, judge for yourself. We can tell you who won, but we don't want to biase you. Which team do you think deserved to take the prize of good food based on the pictures?

Happiest Place on Earth

Disneyland
Location:
 W Ball Rd & S Disneyland Dr
 Anaheim, CA 92802
Entertainment Cost: Free if you have a friend who works for Disney like our good friend Orn.
Normal price: Find out here
Entertainment Value: Amusement rides, Disney Character magic, Watercolor show, Captain EO 3D (MJ's Back!), and Scenic beauty.
Food Cost: $8 for Smoked Turkey Legs

Bollywood in California Adventure; Glowfest props in background

The beauty of living in So Cal is that you can go to Disneyland an infinite number of times and there will always be surprises after the umpteenth time back. Disney is constantly expanding, a life force pulsing behind the gigantic corporate machine of capitalism, a manufacturer of fantasy and dreams for both children and adults alike. Disney is the Jimmy Cricket on your left shoulder, the Fairy God Mother on your magic dust filled dreams, and Tinkerbell guiding you in the dark night, who raised you since you were able to open your eyes and understand human speech, or even if you didn't. Growing up Disney was there to give you a temporary respite from school hassles like making the grades, making friends that would laugh at your bad jokes, and getting the nerve to talk to the crush you had in middle school. When college bound, you occasionally went back to the occasional Disney cartoon classics like a nice pair of birthstone earrings you got as a toddler that you'd take out to remind you that it is still not too late to look fashionable in it. Now that you are a full blown adult, you realize the fundamental need to keep it at your side, cling to it like a magical amulet that, over time, needs polishing and whispers of wishful thinking.

Mickey Fountain in front of Monster's Inc. Ride

That is why time and again we look to Disneyland for comfort and a way to get away. Maybe I'm biased since my heart still sings every time I go on a Sleep Beauty Ride or watch Ariel rock it during the Disney Parade (two of my favorite Disney "old school" animations...God, can I call it that now? Wow I'm getting old...no disrespect to the 70's and 80's babies). So now after my 9+ times at Disney, I had expected to be bored but was met with pleasant surprise instead--kind of like discovering a pomegranate tree growing in your backyard after that one incident where you had lazily eaten it without a trash can nearby. The experienc is altogether... serendipity.

So Cal residents tend to be fickle, we are easily bored, and hard to entertain (especially if we've seen it more than once). Yes, as So Co PeePo, we have all ridden Matterhorn, Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, Star Tours, It's a Small World, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Haunted Mansion many of times. And even the newer rides built in the new millennium like: Indiana Jones and Buzz Light Year, or California Adventure's Ride Additions: Tower of Terror, California Screamin', Monster's Inc, etc., won't make us lose sleep from excitement the night before. However, there are some newer additions and new relevations since 2008, which was the last time I went to Disney.

Madhatter Tea Party and Matterhorn backdrop

Best darn smoked Turkey Leg ever...watch out OC fair

Five things I've discovered that doesn't make Disney an old Fart:
1. Disney's Nightastic Fireworks at 10:00pm during weekdays and 9:00pm during weekends

2. Toy Story ball tugging 3D shooter ride (Upgraded Buzz Light Year ride)

3. Gianormous Turkey Legs are still bomb

4. Captain EO Tribute 3D Show is Back (MJ's back on the map)

5. Glow Fest (Electronica, Dancers, and Alcohol!)

6. Disney's World of Color Show

Mr. Potato Head and Mr. David Dang Head. It's a head off!

Okay, I lied. There's six. Unfortunately, we couldn't get tickets to the World of Color show. This show is _____________. I don't know. But please comment on this blog if you did go and let me know how it was for you. Rumors are you have to get fast passes to get admitted well in advance in order to have any chance of seeing it. For those that love to live in the moment, as I'd like to think of myself as (or at least as my alibi for being lazy), if you arrive that day to retrieve your tickets, I would recommend diving to the Grizzly Run fast pass machine over by California Adventure. As a a loyal reader of my blog, I will show my gratitude by giving you the exact location of Grizzly Run so there will be no time wasted asking directions or getting lost:

Remember: Focus! Don't worry about running over strollers or old grannies, it is either you or them soldier!

This is your hit. Burn after reading!

Can't wait to see the show? See it here:



Should the carpe diem method fail, your mission can still be salvaged if you are tactful and prepare ahead of time. The other (and probably wiser) way to not only get a good front view of the show without the hassle of waiting hours to get good seating, but also to get a decent meal while there, is to make dinner reservations at Ariel's Grotto. The dinner package is around $36  per person; note I said "package", so I'm guessing that it is a decent meal. One that involves good farting and burping afterwards.

Bringing Black Back!

One other thing I must elborate on is the Captain EO Tribute show; It is one of my all time favorite 3D shows...and probably the only 3D show I've experienced in the 80's. I love how the teleprompter warns us not to put on the glasses "for our protection" until the show has started. That cautionary warning was made during a time when Lasik services weren't rendered to the average consumer. The tribute show really kept it's 80's originality--Special optical and mechanical effects (when SPX still conjured awe in us) in all its noise and large pixilated glory.  Michael Jackson plays Captain EO, a traveling space captain out to deliver goods and bring peace for the world. He is out to find the lost beacon, only to luckily crash upon it. But his luck runs out as he is captured by the evil machine witch before he is able to complete his mission. I won't give away the best part of what he does next, but I will tell you that there are a lot of rainbow colors (80's style), popping, Michael moonwalking, and aaaaaaaaah that only MJ could do (imitated but never duplicated). And since Disney owns the exclusive rights to it, you won't be finding this MJ pop routine anywhere else but here where dreams and reality meet.    

Tower of Terror and Hollywood's Backlot Backdrop

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Los Angeles Dodgers
Location: Dodger Stadium
Entertainment Value: Fan-mania, Blue Pride, and Andre Either Action Figures
Entertainment Cost: $10 for nosebleed seats
Food Cost: $8 for the best Dodgers Garlic Fries + $10 Large Domestic Beer

When you're from out of town, the quickest way to ostracize yourself from LA natives is to talk smack about two teams: the LA Lakers and the LA Dodgers. Now personally I'm not a sports expert here, but one thing I do know growing up in So Cal is that you go with the crowd--according to the laws of six degrees of separation, you will sooner or later come across a LA FANatic the minute your plane wheels hit the LA tarmac. Talking big about a rival team in front of a Los Angelian is like flaunting your peacock feathers in front of a tribe of howler monkeys--it's just going draw unnecessary attention and give us a good reason to be loud and obnoxious.

So the best thing to do is humbly accept your bobble head (if you go on bobble head nights) or action figure (in my case it was Andre Either action figure night), and go with the flow. Let's face it, you are definitely outnumbered and out-cheered when it comes to supporting your team. As a fan would say, "You're in my town!"  Seriously, they will boo you down to shame if you wear any rival team's jersey. My friend was booshamed for sitting next to his Yankee fan fiance (at least women aren't treated as harshly as men, but it sucks for the men who have to battle it out on behalf of their women). If you don't believe me, just listen to the speakers that would periodically remind the fifth level fans not to throw anything while politely making threats to "eject" us for going too far (See Fan Code of Conduct vs.Fan Fights).

When you think of $10 nosebleed tickets, you'd imagine watching the game as if you're in a 3D movie without the glasses. On the contrary, being in the highest section is visually stunning--the experience is like being suspended on the highest point of a theme park ride with a Roman Emperor's view of a gladiator worthy stadium. At five stories high, the upper level is where you can watch the game in a The Sims 3 or WarCraft Archive point of view. For the agoraphobic or acrophobic person, this is either your opportunity to face your fears or your worse nightmare. For all others, it is a riveting vantage point--the "Think Blue" stands out like the Hollywood sign on a clear canvas sky after the rain.

You'll hear the pounding cadence of, "Let's go Dodger's let's go" Clap Clap! With beer holders readily handy for this very purpose and fans flashing their LA Dodger's logo in a ritualistic gesture to defend territory. Catfights, dodgerfights, and hoobanging fights are known to break out occasionally; but with tight security peppered throughout the crowds and a push for a family safe environment, these infamous breakouts are fewer and farther in between. The family atmosphere is even more telling when comedy breaks out after an anonymous fan did a one man Jack Black-esque lip singing act to Journey's Don't Stop Believin', or the audience sings along to Randy Newman's I Love L.A. (LP Version), and every time you hear the sharp crack of a home run ball, the crowd roars in concordant frenzy.

If you plan early and arrive before the game, the best bang for you buck would be to get the one of a kind Dodger Dog or the stink yo momma's car up Garlic fries, and, of course, the domestic Budweiser Beer (Buy Home or Bye Bye). Even if you don't have Dodger Fever, the nice summer afternoon breeze, the radiant glow of the stadium lights, the sea of blue sporadically making human waves, and the excitement emanating from the stands inspires the onlooker to feel like part of a movement.

If not for a good game, if not for the hills overlooking downtown Los Angeles, if not for the mouthwatering food, if not for the overzealous fans, if not for the bobbleheads, than just do it for the LA experience. It'll be one hell of a catch.