Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Los Angeles Dodgers
Location: Dodger Stadium
Entertainment Value: Fan-mania, Blue Pride, and Andre Either Action Figures
Entertainment Cost: $10 for nosebleed seats
Food Cost: $8 for the best Dodgers Garlic Fries + $10 Large Domestic Beer

When you're from out of town, the quickest way to ostracize yourself from LA natives is to talk smack about two teams: the LA Lakers and the LA Dodgers. Now personally I'm not a sports expert here, but one thing I do know growing up in So Cal is that you go with the crowd--according to the laws of six degrees of separation, you will sooner or later come across a LA FANatic the minute your plane wheels hit the LA tarmac. Talking big about a rival team in front of a Los Angelian is like flaunting your peacock feathers in front of a tribe of howler monkeys--it's just going draw unnecessary attention and give us a good reason to be loud and obnoxious.

So the best thing to do is humbly accept your bobble head (if you go on bobble head nights) or action figure (in my case it was Andre Either action figure night), and go with the flow. Let's face it, you are definitely outnumbered and out-cheered when it comes to supporting your team. As a fan would say, "You're in my town!"  Seriously, they will boo you down to shame if you wear any rival team's jersey. My friend was booshamed for sitting next to his Yankee fan fiance (at least women aren't treated as harshly as men, but it sucks for the men who have to battle it out on behalf of their women). If you don't believe me, just listen to the speakers that would periodically remind the fifth level fans not to throw anything while politely making threats to "eject" us for going too far (See Fan Code of Conduct vs.Fan Fights).

When you think of $10 nosebleed tickets, you'd imagine watching the game as if you're in a 3D movie without the glasses. On the contrary, being in the highest section is visually stunning--the experience is like being suspended on the highest point of a theme park ride with a Roman Emperor's view of a gladiator worthy stadium. At five stories high, the upper level is where you can watch the game in a The Sims 3 or WarCraft Archive point of view. For the agoraphobic or acrophobic person, this is either your opportunity to face your fears or your worse nightmare. For all others, it is a riveting vantage point--the "Think Blue" stands out like the Hollywood sign on a clear canvas sky after the rain.

You'll hear the pounding cadence of, "Let's go Dodger's let's go" Clap Clap! With beer holders readily handy for this very purpose and fans flashing their LA Dodger's logo in a ritualistic gesture to defend territory. Catfights, dodgerfights, and hoobanging fights are known to break out occasionally; but with tight security peppered throughout the crowds and a push for a family safe environment, these infamous breakouts are fewer and farther in between. The family atmosphere is even more telling when comedy breaks out after an anonymous fan did a one man Jack Black-esque lip singing act to Journey's Don't Stop Believin', or the audience sings along to Randy Newman's I Love L.A. (LP Version), and every time you hear the sharp crack of a home run ball, the crowd roars in concordant frenzy.

If you plan early and arrive before the game, the best bang for you buck would be to get the one of a kind Dodger Dog or the stink yo momma's car up Garlic fries, and, of course, the domestic Budweiser Beer (Buy Home or Bye Bye). Even if you don't have Dodger Fever, the nice summer afternoon breeze, the radiant glow of the stadium lights, the sea of blue sporadically making human waves, and the excitement emanating from the stands inspires the onlooker to feel like part of a movement.

If not for a good game, if not for the hills overlooking downtown Los Angeles, if not for the mouthwatering food, if not for the overzealous fans, if not for the bobbleheads, than just do it for the LA experience. It'll be one hell of a catch.